The Sun

So right now everyone seems to be wondering the same thing: why is the sun so fucking awesome?

Luckily, the Hamburglar has more than a couple good reasons.

1. without the sun, you cant play in the sun, and if you cant play in the sun then that ultimately sucks cock(im sure some of you readers(you know who you are you hoe bags) really love sucking cock, and that's a fantastic personal choice you made but I guess it's just different strokes for different folks)...i put a parenthese within a parenthese. so sweet.

2. it lets movies like the cookout get filmed in the daylight. without the sun, there's no cookout, if there's no cookout, there's only one other feature film(fast and the furious, which is amazing) with Ja Rule.

3. it lets movies like fast and the furious get filmed in the daylight. without the sun, there is no fast and the furious, if there's no fast and the furious, there's only one other feature film(the cookout, which is amazing) with Ja Rule.

--although in Fast and the Furious you only see Ja, I think he'd like it if I called him Ja, at night. Which is really ironic cause I would have guessed you could only see him during the day.--

4. if there's no sun then my mom or dad always would have to go stand outside with my dog whenever it would want to go out at night cause its scarred to be outside by itself in the dark. its a hassle to say the least.

5. without the sun, you can only go to arby's at night. there's nothing wrong with arby's at night, it'a just so amazing in the afternoon.

6. suns out. make out. callidge

xoxo gossip girl

Wooderson, too inappropriate or perfectly inappropriate?

So my friend and myself were just partying outrageously with some total babes, when we stumbled upon a major dilemma. How old is Wooderson? Wooderson is Matthew McConaughey's character in my all time fave Dazed and Confused. Wooderson, who loves joints, the sunshine, and a good time, just wants to party with the local high school chicks(by the way i am not judging, i love to party with high school chicks too). The problem being, is how old is this man who loves 14-18 year old girls? the basic fan would give you the "he's 25 argument" because of his old looking porn stache and his dtb(down to bone) attitude. But when you really take a look you realize he must be 22-23 year old range. there is no way possible he is 7-9 years older then Randal Pink Floyd because that is wildly inappropriate. Trust me, I love wildly inappropriate, just not with high school chicks(things get a little too weird)...

However there is one scene that totally makes my theory grab it’s ankles and hold on tight. When Randal, Wooderson and the others are on the football field at the end of the movie the cops show up and there’s a revealing exchange. The cop holding the gate opens and says something homo to Wooderson and Wooderson drops “you’re still mad cause I started over you.” The cop looked a solid 26 or 27 but I think this is just mishap because the line was way too sweet to be left out. I know it’s a stretch to just dismiss that information but the movie raises some disturbing ehtical issues if Wooderson is 27 and he’s praying on the virginity of 16 year old girls.

i am so good at making out.

Rockhound out

The Diagnosis

The Diagnosis is in.

The Carl's jr. 6 dollar western bacon cheeseburgers is nothing less then delicious. so delicious. so so delicious.

Your Friend,
Burglar, Ham

im fuckin pissed

granted arbys aint no burger, but i dont give a fuck. im fuckin pissed that they dont send no motha fuckin good coupons to my email after i sign up for the arbys email letter. arbys promised good coupons. you think i want a fuckin free market fresh sandwich when i buy curly fries and drink? fuck that. i want fuckin beef n' motha fuckin cheddar. allllllllllll day.

speaking of beef n' cheddar, I voyaged over to the carls jr. website to check out the 6 dollar western bacon cheeseburger. looks delicious. more on this tomorrow.